If you have any questions, feel free to ask us anything, but we'd prefer if your inquiries were easy and easily answerable. If not, we may have to pretend we know the answer and ramble on and on in a totally believable way. We hope that any comments you have are positive and pleasant, since we have pretty low self-esteem. Not. Criticism, constructive or subjective is more than welcome.

For more information regarding our Privacy Policy, Return Policy, Delivery, or the Terms and Conditions that apply to purchasing one of our magnificent products, please visit our FAQ page first, before you waste our time or embarrass yourself by asking a dumb question. And yes, there is such a thing as a dumb question.

Kidding! If you want to just say hey, don't hesitate to ring us (or text) on 203.451.5127, email us at johnnymustard@oneupmanship.com or if you're in the neighborhood we invite you to pop by the studio anytime — 13 Wilson Road, Weston, Connetiquette 06883 — door's open 23 1/2 hours a day, 7 days a week.